Saturday, October 4, 2008

We beat colic's ass

I haven't had time to blog lately. I barely have time to shower. This mommy stuff is definitely harder than I expected! We have had a very productive first 5 weeks together! It's been SO much fun learning about our little man. Just in the past week or so he's become so aware! It's hilarious to watch. His eyes get huge and he stares at things as if he's thinking, "what in the HELL is that???" I *think* he's beginning to recognize me, Jason, our house...

It's a funny thing, being on maternity leave. When it IS a little like a vacation, it's the hardest vacation I've ever taken. Spending 24 hours a day with someone can drive anybody crazy, especially if you don't take time to get outside or interact with someone different. The hardest part about this newborn stage for me has been that because he's too little to really interact and doesn't know how to smile yet, it seems like he's always unhappy. We went through a couple of weeks lately where I was convinced that my little pumpkin had colic. When he wasn't nursing or sleeping, he was fussy. Very fussy.

And then, all of a sudden, just this week it seems like he's come out of it. It started Saturday night while Jason was home. I had gotten up with Nathan in the middle of the night like always to nurse him. Normally, he would go back to sleep, but this night his colic kicked in. I was literally up for 3 hours in the middle of the night with him trying my darndest to get him to go back to sleep. Finally, I came back to bed and said, "I'm fixing to lose. my. mind." My sweet husband (who apparently didn't realize I'd been up so long with him) said, "just go back to sleep - I'll get him." AT LAST! I was able to sleep! So, I slept...and slept...and slept.

Note to self: Get enough sleep!

So, Tuesday I decided to go back to work (yes, my son is only 4 weeks old), but I just couldn't take sitting at home all day anymore without adult interaction, plus my clients were getting itchy for me to get back and since I've changed to a different salon amidst this maternity leave, I was excited to get into my new place. But, when Tuesday morning came, I woke up with my heart in my throat. It was hitting me that someone else (who I've heard lots of good things about and met a few times, but don't REALLY know) is going to be spending quality time with my son. Enter: tears. Honestly - one of the hardest days of my life. I dropped him off with her a full hour early, so I would have plenty of time to love on him and fix my makeup before having to go to work (which I was only going to be at for about 3 hours, anyway). I never thought I'd feel that way, but I was seriously full on SOBBING, like snorting sobbing. Snot, mascara... the whole bit. How embarassing! I had to go to my first day of work with no makeup on and tear-stained cheeks. haha. But, the good part is - that it was fine! We did fine. He slept most of the day and seemed well and happy when I picked him up. Now, 2 days later I'm reflecting and realizing that we are all of a sudden on a schedule, he seems calmer and happier and maybe it's because I'm appreciating our time together more, but he's actually smiling at me - and I honestly believe that he is doing it on purpose because he loves me (and not just because he passed gas.) He hasn't been nearly as fussy and so I hereby declare that we've beat colic's ass!

On a side note, breastfeeding is still going well. Nathan has a Dewberry hollow leg that I just can't seem to keep full, so I have started supplementing (to the advice of my husband - the lactation consultant) with formula. We only give him formula, though at times when he's going to be with the sitter, because she'll be giving him formula, and I still try to nurse him the rest of the time. Nathan's gaining weight great! I had my postpartum appointment last Friday. I'm healing really well. My incision is still open (!) but apparently it's looking better, which is good I guess. I just can't wait for it to close up completely. I've only got 10 more pounds to lose (plus the 15 or so I should have lost before I even got pregnant) so Nathan will continue to get the "melon juice" for a few more months at least. Alright, that's it for now. Hopefully, it won't be too much longer before I'm able to blog again...