Monday, December 29, 2008

quick update

Santa bought Nathan new carseats for Christmas. We now have one for my car and one for my mom's. Jason won't get one since when we're all together we always take my car. I've blogged before about how much Nathan hates the carrier. Cries as soon as he looks at it. Screams at the top of his lungs the entire way to and from any destination. Some people say that they will eventually stop crying, but not my son. And my favorite - "My child would fall asleep as soon as we put them in their carseat."
I never believed this statement. I was beginning to think that this is how it would be for the rest of our lives. The thought of a child falling asleep in their carseat seemed like something out of a Disney movie or a fairytale.

This has become the main reason we don't go anywhere. Not even to the grocery store. Very frustrating. However, I told him the other day that we really can not stay on Mt. Carmel Rd. forever. We are going to HAVE to leave at some point. So, he asked Santa for a new careseat. Or, at least I did. And he delivered!
Here he is before:

And now...

It's true! They do sleep in carseats! And I believe in miracles!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

'Tis the Season

Merry Christmas!

It's weird to think that this time last year I was pregant and didn't even know it yet...
This is Nathan's first Christmas and boy has it been fun! It all started with Mason coming up on Thursday. We had so much fun with him this time. I think he's starting to get used to Nathan being around all the time. We are so lucky that Susan and Howard were there in Florida and just happened to be coming back that day. We don't ever mind going to get him, but it's nice to not have to make that 2 1/2 hour trip both ways if we don't have to. So, Thursday night Jason's sister Christy came by to see him and we then had dinner with my parents.

Friday, Mason spent the day with Mr. Mark. They just pal'd around all morning and then picked Jason up from the truck stop at lunch. Mason loves going to the truck stop so this was a real treat for him! He kept telling us that he wanted Santa to bring him a "Mac" truck like his Daddy's. Good thing I'd already gotten him one! Last year, Santa came to Mason at both our house and his mom's house, but now that Nathan's here (and since Mason's getting smarter about Santa) we decided that Santa would only come to the house that he's at Christmas eve night. That way there's no confusion as to why Santa comes to him twice and not to everybody else twice, too. Also, last year Mason had told us that he wanted trucks and cars and "digger things." However, when we went to pick him up to have Christmas with him, he said, "Santa's going to bring me airplanes and helicopters!" Jason and I were like, "!" and of course rushed around like mad people buying up airplanes and helicopters at the last minute. So, Christmas morning that child had more presents than he could have ever dreamed of. This year, we decided to scale back alot. Especially since we didn't have the pressure of playing Santa, we felt like we could get away with not having to do as much. But, between Jason's grandparents, both sets of my grandparents, Jason's mom, Jason's dad, my parents, Jason's sister, my sisters, and then us - he STILL had tons of stuff! Our boys are so lucky to have such a great family. And Jason and I feel so lucky for them, too! Here are a few picks of him opening our gifts to him...

He's so funny. As soon as he'd finish opening one, he'd be ready for the next and he played with the bubble wrap from someone else's present more than any of these, but oh well. I need another toy box, that's for sure!

Saturday, I had to work and when I got off we had Christmas with my sisters and Mason at Memaw and Big Daddy's house. Rebecca and Christy both were not going to be here for Christmas day so we had to do Christmas for them a little early. My Mom went ahead and gave my dad his present - a Wii! Oh Lord, I don't think my parents' house will ever be the same again....

Jason's mom came over that afternoon and Jason's sister came back again, too. They brought Mason even more gifts, but we couldn't play with them very long because we had to get ready for our 2nd annual Twinkle Tour! This is SO much fun and we are so glad we got to do it again this year. My cousin Alison's husband Jim's family owns a small church-type bus. He drives our Perkins family around in it to look at Christmas lights and we stop at some people's houses for appetizers. Of course, everyone brings their drink of choice which makes it hilarious. Everyone from my 65 year old Aunt and uncle to my youngest cousins were there. My mom kept Nathan for us which was so sweet of her. It was really nice for Jason and I to be able to enjoy ourselves without having to worry about him for a little while. Mason went in her place and got to ride with Big Daddy. He LOVED the lights and had lots of fun with the other kids. I'm not sure if he remembered going last year, but I hope he'll be able to go with us every year.

Sunday, we slept in late and then went to my parents house to play Wii. It was nice to have a day off to not have to do too much. We let Mason stay up late with us that night and watched "Home Alone." He thought he was so big. When I told him that he could stay up late, he was like, "are you going to let Baby Nathan stay up late, too?....He'll probably whine alot." haha. I said, "Nah, this is only for big boys." He grinned real big and climbed up onto the sofa. It was so fun for the 3 of us to hang out together like old times and I think it was good for Mason to see that things haven't changed THAT much with having Nathan here.

Jason took Mason back on Monday and I had to work then we went to my parents house to play Wii. Tuesday was sort of mellow, too, I worked - came home - played Wii. Then, Wednesday the fun started again. I worked that morning, then rushed home to start cooking for Christmas day. I went ahead and made the breakfast casserole and cheese danish for Christmas morning and then made the deviled eggs for us to have with our Christmas lunch. We got all dressed up and went to Susan and Howard's house for a little Christmas party. We had so much fun being with everyone. Nathan wasn't in much of a party mood. I've learned that when he gets sleepy he wants his bed at his house. Kinda' like his Daddy, I guess. :) He was not having me trying to get him to sleep on Susan's bed. So, we had to cut the party short a little. Too bad, because I heard there were lots of holiday cheer shots being taken which would have been fun to watch, but oh well....

Then, this morning, I woke up early to make sure I could get everything started. As soon as Jason and Nathan woke up we went to see Mr. Mark and give him the coffee mug I had made that had the boys' picture on it. My parents and grandparents came over around 9 to exchange gifts. It was so much fun and I hope we make this a tradition! We gave them each 2 mugs with a picture of each boy on both of them. They LOVED them! Jason and I decided to not give each other gifts this year so we could focus more on the kids and since we don't have alot of extra money right now. I wondered if he'd cheat, but luckily neither of us did. I was sure to remind him that this is not tradition, though!

I hated to see my family leave, but kinda' glad they did because I had to quickly get started on our Christmas lunch. I had planned on cooking a ham that I had already bought, but Wednesday, one of my clients brought me a huge beef tenderloin! What a nice gift!! So, we decided to have it instead. Jason and his dad took care of preparing the meet, but I still had to make the green beans, squash casserole, homemade mashed potatoes, rolls and sweet tea. Whew! Luckily, I squeezed a shower in there just before Jason's brother and sister got here. We had so much fun being with them and I'm so glad that everyone enjoyed my food. I am so proud of myself for getting it all taken care of and for it being so yummy. I just hope that one day my boys will tell their wives, "nobody can cook as good as my mama!" :)

After they left we went to my parents house to, you guessed it - play Wii!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Hazel Ana

Today I am reminded of all my blessings. I am a wife and a mama and that is all that I've ever wanted to be. As a little girl I would dream of what my husband would look like and what I would name my babies. Of course, a little girl doesn't dream of the silly little things that come along with life like bills, fussy children or husbands that travel. Nevertheless, I have all that I've ever wanted and I am blessed. I ran across this blog today. I do not know these people. I do not know anyone that these people know. I have no idea really how I found it, but I started at the bottom and read up. I do believe that once you're a mama you are everyone's mama and everyone's baby is your baby. I love little Hazel. The chinese culture describes an emotion that they call mother-love as being the love that only mothers have for their children. The love that causes a woman to urge her children in the right direction, the love that makes babies want to curl up in only their mother's arms, the love that keeps us strong when our babies are sick. I can feel the mother-love that there is for Nathan. I, we, can not be more blessed and thankful for all the many mothers we have in our lives...

My favorite gift

The best gift that I ever got
Didn't really weigh a lot
It didn't have a ribbon 'round
And it sometimes made the terrible sound
The best of all it seems to me
It wasn't neath the Christmas tree
And yet, I guess I'd have to say
That it made all the other presents twice as gay
The best gift that I've ever known
I'd always wanted most to own
Yet in my dreams of sugar and spice
I never thought it could be so nice
The best gift that I ever got
Was sometimes dry and sometimes wet
Was usually pink but oftentimes red
As it lay so innocently in its bed
The best gift of the year to me
The one I hold most dear to me
A gift that simply drove me wild
Was a tiny new born child...
~"The Best Gift" by Barbra Streisand

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Baby, it's cold outside!

So, I'm writing this from my parents' guest bedroom. Yes, I'm staying at my parents house tonight. No, it's not because Jason and I had a fight or because our house has been repo'd. But - our heat is out - AGAIN.

Now, I have been trying to be really patient with this idiot that installed our unit only a little over a year ago, but my patience is wearing thin. I'm not sure if he realizes that he's dealing with a woman that just gave birth 3 months ago - who's hormones aren't all intact - who's living on little sleep - and who just lost a really damn good sale at Target.

Yep, I lost the sale at Target - they aren't going to give me the coveted Britax carseat that I so desperately wanted. Let me take that back, they aren't going to give me the coveted Britax carseat at the price they said they would - however, they will sell it to me for $299. Apparently, in very small print on some part of their website it says that they have the right to cancel an order if the price was a misprint.
What - ev.
It's the week after Thanksgiving. I should be more thankful, right, instead of complaining so much, so let's take a deep breath....

We had a really nice Thanksgiving. Mason came to visit again. Every year we try to swap out going to Jason's family's Thanksgiving and going to mine. My family usually goes to Lake Junaluska so that's why we can't do both. However, since Jason's parents are divorced, we end up having 2 Thanksgivings anyway, plus my papa always has a big Thanksgiving at his house the Sunday after for our Perkins family so let me just tell you - I am TURKIED out. gobble, gobble.

I am very proud of myself, though! It's always fun for me to cook meals that my mother-in-law is really good at making to see if I can even get close to making them like she does. So since we were hosting my father-in-law's family at our house this year, I decided to do most of the cooking. I made a Turkey Breast, Sweet Potato Casserole, Green Bean Casserole, Macaroni and Cheese, a Chocolate Pie and Deviled Eggs (or "doubled" eggs as Mason called them). Everything turned out so nice! My deviled eggs could have been a little less mustard-y and a little thicker texture, but that's okay. I even got a great big hug from my hubby and he told me how nice it was for me to have gone to so much trouble for them. :) Makes me want to stay at home all day and be a little Betty Crocker.

My Dad got a new camera recently so I had him come up to the house to help me take Christmas pictures of Nathan for our Christmas cards. I thought of this cute idea and am so glad they turned out so's a couple we're debating against...

I'm just so proud of my little pumpkin.

We "may" be starting to teeth. It's really early for that, but I got teeth pretty early so I've kinda been expecting it. He's started drooling aLOT and chewing on his hands pretty aggresively. Also, his diapers have been pretty loose - not a lot in them, but loose. I'm hoping this doesn't mean we're fixing to get alot less sleep. Just keep your fingers crossed for me that those little suckers pop on out pretty quickly.

Alright, I'm off to try to get some sleep in this strange bed....keep the heating and air man in your prayers!

Monday, November 17, 2008

How's your pregnancy going...SIR?

Ugh. He's gone and done it again. Not only did he freak everyone out by getting pregnant once, but noe he's pregnant again! The only good I can see in all of this craziness is that his sweet little girl won't be the only one who's dad gave birth to her....ick. And you want to know what really drives me nuts? He got to deliver VAGINALLY as in - through his vagina. I couln't even do that!

Blogging one handed is pretty difficult, but necessary. My baby boy is recovering from a cold and needing lots of snuggle time - which is fine with me! So, please excuse the typos!

It's beginning to feel alot like Christmas! It actually dropped below freezing last night. Maybe I can get Jason to help me put up Christmas decorations during Thanksgiving. He made the BEST chili yesterday! I'm so lucky that he can cook. Looking forward to having day-old chili (even better than fresh) with Mom and dad tonight. Here's what i spent yesterday evening watching...


In other exciting news, my friend Hillary emailed me last night to let me know that the Britax Marathon carseat was on sale at Target from $280 to $46!!!

This is one of the best carseats made and i could not believe it. So, I went to the website and sure enough, plain as day there it was for $46. You better believe I snatched one up. Today, though, there are rumors circling that it may been a mistake. So keep your fingers crossed that they still honor it!

Alright, I'm off to heat up the chili!

Monday, November 10, 2008

shot to the heart...

Quick update!
Nathan's 2 month doctor's appointment was today. He got such a good report! He weighed in at a whopping 12 lbs. 4 oz and is 24 inches long! That means he's grown 4 inches in 2 months! :) He's in the 90th percentile for his height and weight and he's in the 95th percentile for his head. (typical dewberry, hehe) My little baby is growing up...

He's got excema on his face that I'm having to treat with some Hydrocortisone Ointment. Dr. Jackson doesn't think it will stick with him for the rest of his life, but should be gone by 6 months or so. I've always had pretty sensitive skin so it doesn't surprise me that he does a little, too.

Nathan's been spitting up a lot and with him hating to be on his back it's made me wonder if he has reflux. Dr. Jackson said that it does sound like he may have it, but he's gaining weight great and so unless it starts visibly bothering him or becomes worse, I could just treat it by adding cereal to his formula (he gets 2 bottles of formula a day while he's at the sitter's). Yay! I've been anxious to give him something different as I'm sure he's getting pretty bored with the same ole' formula/breastmilk/formula/breastmilk meal plan. We tried it this afternoon and I must say - he loved it! haha.

(FYI: after doing some research on the whole vaccines=autism debate, we decided to follow our doctor's recommendations of going ahead with the vaccines. We believe that this is the right of every parent to treat their child how they wish. Jason and I feel very strongly that our doctor has been educated far more than we have and having known him most of my life I very strongly trust his opinion.)

He received his first 4 vaccines while we were there. I can't remember right off what all they were for. It was pretty painful to say the least! They had me hold his little arms down while they poked him not once - but three times! :( As soon as he thought it was over, they stuck him again. It was THE SADDEST thing ever. Luckily, it was over quickly and he wasn't looking at me while they were doing it so hopefully he didn't think it was me doing it to him (which was my fear). Here's a picture of his battle wounds...

Dr. Jackson told me that he might have a few side effects from the vaccines like soreness, fatigue, low-grade fever and loose bowels. So, this afternoon my mom came over to see our little trooper. We noticed that while she was holding him he started straining and his face turned bright red. "Uh oh!" we said, "He must be going poo!" Mom stood up with him so I could try to get a better picture of his little legs when suddenly....yep, you guessed it....he exploded. It was coming out his diaper - onto mom's hand - and then onto the floor! lol. Poor Memaw! Normally, she would be the one to quickly come to the rescue and clean up, but since she was holding him, it was up to me! haha. I had to think fast - so we started stripping him and just set him in the empty sink. This led to him "ice skating" in the poo and spreading it all around, but have no fear! With him out of mom's arms, she was able to help me get everything cleaned up (even the floor) and get him into the bath. *PSA: Before you decide to never eat at my house again, I did clorox everything thoroughly!*

So, that sums up our day today. I've got laundry done, dishes washed, baby in bed and now it's time for me to lay down too. Jason's in Pennsylvania and we're missing him badly. Hoping he'll make it home soon and then have several days off for Thanksgiving. Here's to hoping we don't have dreams of needles and mean nurses tonight....

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Oh Brother, where art thou?

It's been a whole month since I last blogged. Ugh! I get so mad at myself when I get so behind like this. A month is a long time for someone so little - it's half of Nathan's life! haha. So much has been happening. He's 9 weeks now and we are adjusting easier and easier all the time.

It CAN be a little overwhelming at times. He's a little like his Daddy in that he isn't very patient. He'll let you know real quick if something isn't right. He makes the cutest little pouty face that I'm trying to catch on camera. (stay tuned). He sticks out that bottom lip and frowns - it's just pitiful to look at and it works! He very quickly gets what he wants.

He's smiling ALL the time. Especially in the morning. He's been sleeping FABULOUSLY! A week or so ago he magically started sleeping 7-8 hours a night!!! Oh my gosh, I've never felt so refreshed. It seems like just a couple weeks ago that I was savoring a 4 hour stretch. haha. I usually put him down around 9 and he will sleep until around 5:00 or so. The best part about nursing is I can then bring him into bed with me and nurse him while I continue to sleep. Hello, Happy Mama! Isn't he just the cutest thing?

He's begun sucking his thumb. He was doing this during some of his ultrasounds, but I thought this it may just be a fluke and a couple of times when he was just born he'd find it, but I thought that it must have been on accident. Lately, it's the only thing he'll take. He HATES the pacifier (we've tried several kinds) and only wants his right thumb. It's great because as soon as he starts giving me his sleepy cues I lay him in his crib, he'll find his thumb and soothe himself to sleep. I just might have the best baby in the world. :)

Mason came up for Nathan's baptism. It was the first time they had met. It went pretty well. I was a little nervous that Mason would be a little jealous of his new little brother, but he really didn't seem to pay him too much attention. The only thing that made me wonder was when he said, "Sara...I think the baby is crying because he knows he can't play with my toys because these are MY toys." I just smiled at him and he continued on with what he was doing. Hopefully they are far enough apart that this won't be too much of an issue. Here's a pic of the brothers together.

As I mentioned earlier, we had Nathan baptised on October 26 at First Methodist. It was really special because my Preacher Pa was there and helped with the service. Fortunately for us, the Bishop and the District Superintendent were also there! It couldn't have been nicer. Nathan wore the baptismal gown that Preacher Pa's mom, "Mama Weeze," made and was remarkably good. Jason held him almost the whole time and was so sweet with him. Everyone commented on how good Jason was with him. It just makes my heart swell to see the two of them together. If only Jason could be home more often....sigh.

The only bad part of the weekend was that around midnight the night of the baptism, Mason started throwing up. He threw up on the hour every hour for the rest of the night. Turns out, it spread around through almost the entire family. :( I feel so bad that people seemed to get it coming to the baptism of our little baby.

Nathan has to get his 2 month shots tomorrow. I think I'm going to be a bigger mess than he is. Here's a picture of him smiling as he probably won't be doing much of it tomorrow. Wish us (me) luck!!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

We beat colic's ass

I haven't had time to blog lately. I barely have time to shower. This mommy stuff is definitely harder than I expected! We have had a very productive first 5 weeks together! It's been SO much fun learning about our little man. Just in the past week or so he's become so aware! It's hilarious to watch. His eyes get huge and he stares at things as if he's thinking, "what in the HELL is that???" I *think* he's beginning to recognize me, Jason, our house...

It's a funny thing, being on maternity leave. When it IS a little like a vacation, it's the hardest vacation I've ever taken. Spending 24 hours a day with someone can drive anybody crazy, especially if you don't take time to get outside or interact with someone different. The hardest part about this newborn stage for me has been that because he's too little to really interact and doesn't know how to smile yet, it seems like he's always unhappy. We went through a couple of weeks lately where I was convinced that my little pumpkin had colic. When he wasn't nursing or sleeping, he was fussy. Very fussy.

And then, all of a sudden, just this week it seems like he's come out of it. It started Saturday night while Jason was home. I had gotten up with Nathan in the middle of the night like always to nurse him. Normally, he would go back to sleep, but this night his colic kicked in. I was literally up for 3 hours in the middle of the night with him trying my darndest to get him to go back to sleep. Finally, I came back to bed and said, "I'm fixing to lose. my. mind." My sweet husband (who apparently didn't realize I'd been up so long with him) said, "just go back to sleep - I'll get him." AT LAST! I was able to sleep! So, I slept...and slept...and slept.

Note to self: Get enough sleep!

So, Tuesday I decided to go back to work (yes, my son is only 4 weeks old), but I just couldn't take sitting at home all day anymore without adult interaction, plus my clients were getting itchy for me to get back and since I've changed to a different salon amidst this maternity leave, I was excited to get into my new place. But, when Tuesday morning came, I woke up with my heart in my throat. It was hitting me that someone else (who I've heard lots of good things about and met a few times, but don't REALLY know) is going to be spending quality time with my son. Enter: tears. Honestly - one of the hardest days of my life. I dropped him off with her a full hour early, so I would have plenty of time to love on him and fix my makeup before having to go to work (which I was only going to be at for about 3 hours, anyway). I never thought I'd feel that way, but I was seriously full on SOBBING, like snorting sobbing. Snot, mascara... the whole bit. How embarassing! I had to go to my first day of work with no makeup on and tear-stained cheeks. haha. But, the good part is - that it was fine! We did fine. He slept most of the day and seemed well and happy when I picked him up. Now, 2 days later I'm reflecting and realizing that we are all of a sudden on a schedule, he seems calmer and happier and maybe it's because I'm appreciating our time together more, but he's actually smiling at me - and I honestly believe that he is doing it on purpose because he loves me (and not just because he passed gas.) He hasn't been nearly as fussy and so I hereby declare that we've beat colic's ass!

On a side note, breastfeeding is still going well. Nathan has a Dewberry hollow leg that I just can't seem to keep full, so I have started supplementing (to the advice of my husband - the lactation consultant) with formula. We only give him formula, though at times when he's going to be with the sitter, because she'll be giving him formula, and I still try to nurse him the rest of the time. Nathan's gaining weight great! I had my postpartum appointment last Friday. I'm healing really well. My incision is still open (!) but apparently it's looking better, which is good I guess. I just can't wait for it to close up completely. I've only got 10 more pounds to lose (plus the 15 or so I should have lost before I even got pregnant) so Nathan will continue to get the "melon juice" for a few more months at least. Alright, that's it for now. Hopefully, it won't be too much longer before I'm able to blog again...

Saturday, September 13, 2008 may not want to read this.

You can't say I didn't warn you! Nathan is 8 days old today. I can't believe it. My little man is growing up.... tear. Seriously, the past 8 days have flown by. I've had so much that I've wanted to write down, but haven't had a chance to get to it. I'm sure now that I have a few minutes he'll wake up and need me, but we'll see how far I can get...

I want to start off by saying how proud I am of Jason and I for being new parents. I know I gush about my love for him alot, so skip this part if it makes you want to vomit, but I do! I can't get enough of him and watching him with our newborn has been one of my favorite parts. I've known that he's a good daddy, but seeing how gingerly he holds Nathan and how he sweetly kisses him and how he runs to his side when he starts to, it chokes me up. One of my favorite memories from the hospital is of Nathan's first dirty diaper. You mom's know what I mean by the first dirty diaper. Yuck. Of course, I used this opportunity to play on my recent surgery, so Jason came running to the rescue. He was so funny trying to clean him all up without hurting him and doing so all while Nathan's screaming. When he was done - he looked so proud. Nathan had quieted and I noticed that he had his little tiny hand wrapped tightly around Jason's big finger. Ugh....I'm going to have to stop before I start crying again.

That's another thing. Nobody told me that I would cry this much. I mean, I'd heard of the baby blues, but just plain out bawling for no apparent reason? It's almost uncontrollable. I think I'm starting to scare people. I asked my doctor about it at my last visit (that's another story) and he said that it's completely natural. Unless I'm having bad thoughts, I should just let it flow. And, honestly, the thoughts aren't bad - they are all so sweet. How much I love my husband, how much I love our baby, how much I love my mama.....any little thing about the 3 of them will set. me. off. Jason had to go back out on the road on Wednesday and just looking at his truck sitting in the driveway will make me cry, thinking about Nathan having to go to school for the first time makes me cry, watching my mama spend endless hours here taking care of me while my husband is away - makes me cry. So, if you are expecting and haven't heard of this yet - you've heard it from me. Just let it flow.

So, here's the other story to the doctor's visit (and part of why i don't think the boys want to hear about it), but, I've been feeling rather well from having just had major surgery. It seems like everything's beginning to not hurt as badly and I'm starting to be able to do small things for myself that I definitely couldn't have done before. Then, Thursday morning I wake up and my nightgown is soaked with this blood-tinged fluid. My first thought was that it must have gotten stuck between my legs (told you not to read this part!), so I changed nightgowns and went back to bed, but when I woke back up, it was there again. Lots of it. I realized that it was coming from my incision! So, I called my doctor and they asked me to come in. Actually, the incision looks really good. I thought it would still be sort of open, but it's completely closed - except for this tiny spot on the edge of a stretch mark that is pouring fluid. Apparently, since I labored for so long, my body had built up this fluid to be able to push the baby out and since I didn't end up delivering that way, that fluid is having to escape any way it can. (through tears, too, maybe?) So, he wants me to just let it flow. yuck. Really? I just might not ever have another baby again. Or at least next time, I won't labor. I'll just schedule the c-sect and get it over with.

Thursday was also an exciting day because we went to Nathan's first doctor's visit! We are using Dr. Jackson and we LOVE him. I've known him for some time from church and am so glad he was willing to see us even though he's not taking new patients. Nathan's doing so good! He's gained 5 oz. back and already another 1/2 an inch. He's really healthy ang growing perfectly. Dr. Jackson said that I've been breastfeeding really well and gave me some pointers on how to keep up with his growing appetite. He also wants us to have him sleeping through the night by 2 months. Lord, I hope that will happen! We talked about his stance on vaccines and I really appreciated hearing his opinion. Then, at the very end of the appointment, he said, "do you mind if I say a prayer over Nathan?" Oh. My. Gosh. The tears just fell. I couldn't help it. I've never heard of a doctor that's whole profession is based on science, but who believes so stronly in God that he offers to pray with his patients. He prayed that Nathan would stay strong and healthy all of his life and that God would give Jason and I the wisdom to know the difference in love and discipline and that He would give Dr. Jackson the wisdom to treat Nathan for the illnesses that he may encounter. tears. that's all I had.

Speaking of breast feeding, this has been one of the most exciting parts. Jason doesn't understand what the big deal is, but I tried to explain that it's just a mother's nature to want to breastfeed her child - be able to give him that nourishment that he needs. It would be the same if he were told that he wasn't able to procreate. He would feel jilted a little because it's a man's nature to want (need) to do that. I've been so clueless as to what to expect, but am really getting the hang of it! He latched on really well from day one, so that hasn't really been a problem, the worst part, I guess, is that since he's a big baby - he wants to eat all. the. time. He's been sleeping great - even at night - he'll sleep for 5 or 6 hours at a time. Love it! But, the only problem, is that this means when he wakes up he's STARVING and it takes me like 2 hours to fill his hollow legs back up. Isn't it amazing what the female body is made to do? And have you seen how far those suckers can stretch? If your mama breastfed you - go give her a hug right now.

Bless his little heart. His daddy has been lovingly calling him, "Nasty Nate." Partly because Jason once knew somebody called that or something and partly because they didn't want us to give him a bath for the first week (or so we thought - turns out we could have been sponge bathing him.) So, by Thursday - he was really Nasty! I couldn't wait to put him in his first bath. Here's a picture of how much fun he had:

Lastly, I want to talk about my Mama. Now, as I sit here my cheeks will be wet, but that's okay. She's taken three days off of school to be with me since Jason had to leave. She's spent every day and night right here beside me. I have to admit, I was a little nervous at first that we wouldn't want to kill each other by the time it was over, but I'm starting to think about moving her in...she's been an angel! Not only has she kept my house nice and clean for company, but she's made my meals, kept up with my medicines, done my laundry, helped me into and out of bed, held my baby while I showered, changed his diapers when I've been unable to, reorganized my pantry, refrigerator and Nathan's chest of drawers. She drove me back and forth all over town on Thursday for our appointments and has gotten up in the middle of the night to help me when he's woken up. What would I do without my mama? She's amazing. I know how blessed I am to have a Mama that is so sweet and loving and who puts everyone else before herself. I can't imagine having to do this without her. I hope that when Nathan grows up, I will be as good to him as she has been to me. I just love her.

oh my god, Nathan's cord just fell off, I have to go....

Sunday, September 7, 2008

He's finally here!

....and he's so worth it!

The doctors had told me that since we were scheduled to be induced Thursday morning at 7:30, I should call at 5:30 to be sure that there hasn't been an overload of women who have gone into labor naturally and taken all the rooms. My doctor had said that this wasn't usually a problem and they didn't anticipate Wednesday night being a big labor night, but you just never know. Jason and I fell asleep pretty easily, surprisingly, but about 3:00 I was up and at 'em. I couldn't sleep any longer for waiting for the clock to change. Sure enough, 5:30 rolled around and I called the number I was given and - you guessed it! Every single labor and delivery room was full. So, they asked me to call back at 10 to see where things stood then. I was so disappointed - but looking back on it, it was probably a good thing because I went back to bed and was able to sleep another 3 hours or so. So, around 10:00 I called again....and again, all the rooms were filled. The nurse I was talking to said that as soon as they had some women discharged, they would start calling the people on their "induction list". I had not even considered that they might have a list of people getting induced, but she assured me that I was number 1. She also asked for me to keep in mind that since I live about an hour away from the hospital, if they do call and someone walks in in active labor, they will have to put that person in the room before me. So, at about 11:30, Mom, Jason and I decided to head on over towards Fayetteville so that when they did call we'd be very close and could get their quicker than if we were in Newnan.

We had lunch at Taco Mac in Peachtree City and shopped around at Smith and Davis. It was nerve-wrecking because a lot of people who knew I was being induced didn't know that we had been delayed so people kept calling to check on me and everytime the phone would ring I would jump thinking, "this is it!" 2 very long hours later, we were debating on whether this was even going to happen that day and they called! We were just passing the hospital on our way to Fayetteville so we quickly turned in and practically ran into Labor and Delivery. (yes, I was running! I was SO ready!)

By the time we got checked in and I got changed into my new little outfit, it was 2:00 and they immediately started the pitocin. I'd heard that pitocin was a doozie, so I was prepared for the pain. Luckily, the practice of doctors that I see are VERY liberal about an epidural. Their thoughts are that if you are in pain they will give it to you. Unlike other offices that want you to be so many centimeters along or if you've gotten too dilated they won't give it to you. So, by about 8:00 I had gotten to about 5 centimeters and felt like the pain was beginning to get intolerable.

I want to stop right here and say how impressed I was with our medical care. We could not have asked for better nurses! The one in particular that was with us for the duration of labor, her name was Reneer, was amazing! She was 19 weeks pregnant herself and dealing with lots of nausea. Bless her heart for working through it - all night long and having to deal with me! I honestly think that she is why God wanted me to wait to come in at a later time than when we had originally planned. The hospital doesn't like to have the husband hold the wife up during an epidural because they've had so many pass out, but this little 5'2'' pregnant girl wrapped her strong arms around me and let me hold onto her as they inserted my epidural. She was an angel! Poor Jason had to just sit on the couch and watch and was a really good sport by not losing his dinner. This was around 8:00p.m. Shortly after, Doctor Turner came in to break my water (which was a breeze since I couldn't feel a THING!) She felt sure that by doing this, it would kick-start things into gear and we would have a baby by 4:00ish or so.

My Dad came around 9 with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers and the cutest balloon I've ever seen! The balloon sings a song when it is jostled that brought a little smile to my face. Also, he'd bought a "congratulations" card and had written "from your hospital buddies" on the inside. Everyone in the waiting room had signed it. It was so sweet because I was able to see who all was anxiously awaiting our little one and it reminded me of the terrific support system we had during these trying hours.

Around 10:00, the doctor asked for all visitors to leave the room so Jason and I could try to get a little rest while we waited for me to dilate enough to start pushing. YEAH RIGHT! rest? with the machines making all kinds of crazy noises and them checking my cervix every 30 mins we knew we were in for a long night. Apparently, when I sleep - I sleep hard, too, because the monitors were showing that as soon as I fell asleep my heart rate would begin to drop which would in turn cause nathan's heart rate to drop so all the nurses would come rushing in to wake me. Poor Jason didn't sleep at all for worrying about us. I was so exhausted, though, that I was trying to take little cat naps and it was so nice to wake up and see my husband standing beside me. Just knowing that he was there watching out for us was such a relief! Around midnight, all of our hospital buddies left except for Mom and Rebecca. They were so sweet to tough it out with us in those uncomfortable waiting room chairs just waiting for little Nathan to get here.

At around 4:00, they checked my cervix again and I had gotten my bloody show. I was a full 8 cm and the doctor felt like it wouldn't be long before it was time to push. It was at this point that they inserted an internal monitor for my contractions and one that they placed on Nathan's head to monitor his heart rate. The monitor that they used for my contractions rubbed against his face which is why in his pictures he has a little mark on his forehead. Poor guy! So, Jason went out to get my mom and sister. They came in and everyone was so sweet to give me words of encouragement of how to get through this. Everyone kept saying, "it won't be long now!" haha! Little did we know, I still had 7 1/2 hours to go!!

It was about 6:30 that Dr. Turner felt like Nathan's head was finally in a position where we could start pushing. I had dilated to the full 10 cm and was completely effaced. We were very hopeful that he would be delivered before her shift ended at 7:30 and I felt ready to do this. She wanted to turn the epidural down, though, so I could feel the pressure and would know better when to push. We probably pushed for about 45 mins when she alerted us that her shift would be ending and Dr. Ralsten would be taking over. We were a little weary about this as we had felt so comfortable with Dr. Turner, but trusted that Ralsten would advise us to do what we needed to in order to get Nathan here safely - our ultimate goal.

It seems to me, though, that someone had some miscommunication because I suddenly began feeling like they hadn't just turned my epidural down, but had turned it off! I could feel everything!! Not only was I completely exhuasted (I'm talking, falling asleep between pushes - exhausted), but the back labor I'd had a few weeks ago was back with full force. I can't describe the pain other than to say that it felt like I had broken my back and it was literally in 2 separate parts. My favorite little nurse Remeer had also changed shifts and our new nurse Polly had come in at the wrong time. Unfortunately, I probably took a lot of my frustrations out on her. Although, I probably took them out on everybody in that room. All I remember was seeing black and using cuss words that I don't use very often. Luckily, I have a very understanding family. Dr. Ralsten came in and suggested getting an epidural "boost" and that we take a 30 minute break. I know that I was still in a lot of pain, but it definitely took the edge off. I was able to fall asleep and tried to rest up for the next set of pushes that I knew were coming.

I just want to say how sweet my husband was through all of this. I had been nervous about how he would react to me being in pain and how his patience would hold up with not having much sleep. Boy, was I crazy. Not only did he not sleep a wink for being worried about Nathan and I
but, he stood right by my side and held my hand through all the pain. Several times I got sick and he was there in a flash holding the little bowl and wiping the hair back off of my face. He'd rinse the bowl out and bring it back to me without even making a face. While I was pushing, he counted and helped give me the support I needed to make the decision to go ahead with a c-section even though I wanted so badly to do this naturally. He could not have been better and just knowing that he was by my side helped me through it. I'm so in love with him and even more so now that we've been through this together.

So, around 10:00am on Friday morning, we tried pushing again. Nathan was just not coming past my pubic bone. Dr. Ralsten felt like my pushes were strong and what I would normally need, but for some reason, it just wasn't working to get him past that crucial point, so by 10:30 we had decided to do a cesarean. They took me out of the room and into the OR while Jason suited up in his little outfit. I honestly don't remember much of this because I was so tired that I think I slept through most of it. I remember being so concerned that Jason wasn't in the room yet, but they brought him in just as they were getting started. I'm not sure if it was the medication, nerves, or what exactly, but for some reason I was shaking uncontrollably. Poor Jason was so worried. He kept saying, "just hold onto my hands - it's going to be okay." I couldn't see anything of course and remember asking him to let me know when they had started. He was like, "baby - they started a long time ago." ha! Good thing I couldn't feel any of it. The worst part of the cesarean to me is not being able to immediately hold the baby after it's born. They showed him to me for a brief second and then whisked him off to the nursery. Jason went with him and I fell fast asleep as they stitched me up and took me to recovery.

Our little boy, Nathan James Dewberry, was born at 11:46 in the morning on September 5, 2008. He weighed in at a whopping 8 lbs 13.6 oz and was 19 3/4 in. long. When the doctors were pulling him out of my stomach, I remember hearing them say, "No wonder you couldn't get him past your pubic bone! Look at that head!" haha. He's definitely a Dewberry because his graddaddy, daddy and brother all sport handsome heads that are a little on the larger side. Also, he was face up which is why I was having such terrible back labor and why he got the little scratch on the front of his face. If he had been face down, he wouldn't have gotten it. He has a FULL set of dark hair which accounts for all the heartburn I'd been having. It's funny because as a baby, Jason had a full head of blonde hair. I didn't have much hair at all, but was born with dark hair that turned blonde. Looks like little Nathan is a perfect blend of the two of us. :)

By 2:30 we had been moved into post-partum and were able to start getting to know our little one. We were so tired that we definitely went to bed super early! Nathan has been breast-feeding like a champ and has passed every test with flying colors. He's absolutely perfect and we are so excited to have been blessed with him. He's so sweet and even as I sit here with an incision all the way across my belly and not able to move hardly without feeling pain, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat to be able to hold him in my arms. I feel like he's been apart of my life all of my life, but I'm just now getting the chance to meet him. We will be taking him home tomorrow, Monday, morning and can't wait for him to see his sweet little house and what all we have for him in it. I wish there were a way to keep him this little forever. I'll write more when I get a chance which will probably be less frequently now that my little buddy is here. :)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


Tomorrow? We are going to have a real live baby, tomorrow? Really?

It seems so surreal. After almost 10 months of being pregnant and dreaming of this child, we will finally get to meet him tomorrow. For so long it's been - oh, I have several months left, several weeks left, several days left...but, now it's tomorrow!

(deep breath in)

I mean, I'm trying to imagine what it's going to be like. Going to sleep tonight with Jason knowing that tomorrow the child that we've created together will be in our arms. Looking down at my stomach and realizing that it's not going to look like this after tomorrow. Folding the last few little outfits and knowing that tomorrow we'll be able to actually put some of them on him. Having dinner with my parents and knowing that tomorrow there will be another member of our family.

Tomorrow what has been 2 will become 3.

Monday, August 25, 2008

We've given Nathan his eviction notice. today's 38 week appointment I am 2 centimeters and 65% effaced and he is finally engaged. I've lost my mucous plug (that was disgusting - let me tell you) and she said that my body is ready. Thank God!

We've given Nathan his eviction notice. He has exactly a week and 3 days to pack up his stuff and get out. If he decides to wait until said date, he will be physically removed from the premises. Either way - he's coming out! This means, he really won't live in my belly for the rest of his life. I won't get any more stretch marks and my heartburn will finally go away.

The very first thing that I plan on doing when I get home from the hospital (assumming he comes naturally and not via c-sect) is lay flat on my stomach. Oh, how I miss laying flat on my stomach! I'm going to kick the snoogle out of our bed and cuddle up to my husband. I'm going to bend down to pick something up without having to do it from the side and I'm going to walk like a normal human instead of like a beached whale!

Do you think my ankles will come back? Will I be able to wear my wedding rings again? Will I be able to actually run from my house to my car if it's raining? Will I be able to enjoy a tomatoe sandwich without fear of waking up with acid in my mouth? Will I be able to feel the urge to pee and actually be able to pee more than just a trickle?

Ah, it's the little things in life that bring us the most pleasure... remind me to re-read this post next time you hear my say "i think I want a baby."

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Rainy Sunday

It's raining outside and I got to sleep in with my husband! It sounds so trivial, but since he's been driving the transfer truck it's something we don't get to do very often and will be doing even less of once Nathan's here. I wake up and realize that this is the happiest I've ever been in my whole life. For all that I have to complain about - my life is really, really good.

I am married to my very best friend. I love everything about this man. We've been together almost 3 years and I am still utterly smitten with him. I'm so proud of what we have and am so thankful for the marriage that I've been blessed with. I can't imagine what our lives would be like without each other and feel so lucky to be married to my favorite person in the whole world!

I'm a mother! This child will call me mommy. He will be my son. I'm so in love with him that I can't even think about anything else... I plan and dream and worry and pray and cry about every essence of this child. I'm so ready to meet him I could burst.

I have the most amazing family. I can call on any one of them at any point and I know that they will be there for me. I have grandparents that I admire, cousins who I like to hang out with, aunts and uncles that are hilarious and even a whole family of in-laws that I truly love. Not many people can say that, but I really mean it. I adore my step-son and am so lucky to have such a special little boy be who Nathan will look up to. I wouldn't give anything for any one of these people and am so lucky that they will all be here to help me raise Nathan. I talk to my parents and both of my sisters almost every single day - I don't know what I would do without them. My heart literally hurts when I hear of people who aren't close to their families like this.

I haven't even blogged about my baby showers. They were the 3 nicest baby showers that I've ever been to (even if they were mine). The fact that so many people felt compelled to do something for me makes me want to weep. I truly am humbled by these people and for what great lengths they went to to make this pregnancy so special.

I have been so blessed. There are days when I hurt so badly from being pregnant, or that I'm so hormonal that every single person I see makes me angry, or that I am so worried about how we are going to afford this little person that I forget about these things. I needed to write them down somewhere so I can look back on it and know that I. am. blessed. We all are if we can just realize it. I've got it really good and I need to learn to be more thankful. I guess bringing a new life into the world makes you realize it. Let's just hope that he will realize how good he has it and be thankful, too...


Well, at yesterday's doctor's appt (37 weeks), I had finally started to progress some. She said that I'm 1 cm dilated and 50 % effaced. Yay! I never knew I could get so excited about silly numbers like that. She also wanted to do an ultrasound b/c as she put it "it looks like you're going to have a pretty big baby."

We went back to the ultrasound room and got started. It was so good to see my little boy again. He's so cute in there - head down, which is good and hiding his face of course. She said that he is measuring right on everywhere except for his head and his belly! lol. I had a feeling he was going to have a big head since his daddy and older brother both do, but to hear it was funny. He's measuring in the 80th percentile for his "age." So, she had me come back to her office for a chat.

She said that she really doesn't want me to go past my due date (sept. 9) since he is measuring big bc they want to give me a chance to have a vaginal delivery. But, they would like to see me get to 39 weeks (sept. 2) so that we're sure his lungs are fully developed. She advised Jason and I to find a time between the 2nd and the 9th that we want to have a "birthday." :) Of course, we want him asap, so we picked the 2nd and depending on how favorable my cervix is we'll either be doing an induction or a c-sect. Meaning, if I'm still progressing next week then we'll do an induction, but if I'm about the same place I am now, we'll plan for a c-sect. So, unless I just naturally go into labor on my own before then, our little Nathan is coming September 2! We can NOT wait and now I'm getting even less sleep because I'm up all night making sure that everything's taken care of....ugh. Wish us luck! :)

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Nathan, you trickster!

So, last night about 11:30 I rolled over and felt a tremendous twinge in my lower back. It seemed to stretch around towards my lower abdomen causing me some menstrual-like cramping. At the same time, my uterus became very hard like a braxton hicks, but stronger. The worst part was the pain in my back. Of course this happens when Jason's not home! I thought that maybe I had pulled something so I tried to change positions, but nothing was relieving it. I was up and down all night with having to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes to an hour and just could not get the pain to stop. Around 6:00 I called my mom to see if she could offer some suggestions and her sweet self dropped everything she was doing to come over - at 6:00 in the morning! She rubbed my back some and we looked online at "back labor" and realized that this was what I was experiencing. So, about 8, when I knew the doctors were up (i hate to wake them in the middle of the night) I put a call in that I thought I was having contractions. Seriously? I thought they would tell me to take some tylenol and put my feet up, but they wanted me to come into the office as soon as I could. So, still not wanting to over-react, I drove myself to the hospital to get hooked up to the monitors. Luckily, Nathan's heart-rate was just fine and sure enough - I was definitely having contractions. They had been hard to time at home but were probably 5-10 minutes apart there at the office. My doctor had me admitted and they started me on a fluid drip to see if I was just dehydrated. Apparently, I was a little because after an hour I had only had 3 - about 20 minutes apart and I still had not dilated. So, they decided to send me home. She said that they will either go away completely or they will start getting stronger and I will start dilating at which point I will need to go straight back there. Now, it's just a waiting game. I've had a few more since I've been home but like an hour or so apart. Let's hope that he's not quite ready to come yet because I've just realized how much more we have to do! I don't have our hospital bags packed or the carseat even installed! ha! I guess this was a big wake up call. Jason's on his way to Newnan tonight and we're just keeping our fingers crossed that everything will turn out okay. It was so funny to leave the hospital this morning with my little i.d. bracelet and bandaids on my hand. People kept looking at me like, "wait, you're still pregnant!" Maybe next time I go in, I'll leave with a baby! :)

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

a little note to my litte one

Dear Nathan,

Hey little buddy! This is your Mommy. You are due in 7 weeks and we are so excited to meet you!!

I went to see the doctor today and he thinks you're going to be a big boy! We've been comparing your ultrasound pictures to your daddy's newborn pictures. You already look so much like him! That's a good thing because he is very handsome!

Memaw's been talking to you a lot lately in my belly. Have you been listening? She's been asking if you're ready to come out and play. I can't wait for you to meet her and Big Daddy. You're going to have so much fun with them! Memaw's ready to read you books and teach you all about nature and Big Daddy's ready to have a new fishing buddy! Your aunts Rebecca and Christy are so excited for you to get here! Can you feel them when they put their hands on my belly? You'll be their first newborn nephew and the oldest cousin to their children. Hopefully they'll both have lots so you'll have lots of little cousins to play with!

Your Gigi and Stanley and Papa and Mary Lou are excited to meet you too! Gigi has come to both ultrasound appointments with me. Did you know she was there? She's got a really cool pirate ship at her house that I bet you'll like to play with. You'll probably get to spend alot of time with Papa because he just built a really cool barn in our backyard that he works in sometimes. I bet he'll teach you all about his tools and tractors. You're going to love your Aunt Susan and Uncle Howard. They have a place at the beach that your daddy and I love to go to. We can't wait to take you there for your first beach visit! Maybe Uncle Howard will let you drive the boat like your brother!

We've got everything all ready for you. Your little nursery is all ready and I've started washing all of your little outfits. It's hard for me to believe that you're going to be small enough to fit into some of them, but then it's hard for me to imagine that you're very big inside my belly. Don't worry though we have plenty of clothes for you in all different sizes so you just come on out here whatever size you want to be, okay?

Your daddy and I had fun putting together your crib and changing table. We've washed the sheets so they're nice and soft. Sometimes we pretend that you're already sleeping on them. When I first found out I was pregnant with you, Big Daddy gave you a little teddy bear that's sitting in your crib waiting for you to snuggle with. Memaw and I think this will be your favorite stuffed animal and that you'll carry it with you everywhere.

I know you hear your four legged sister, Sadie, barking sometimes. She's excited to meet you as well. She's having to adjust to being an outside only dog because I started getting nervous that she would want to play too rough with you while you're still very small. She can tell that something's changing though, because she likes to smell the new baby things that we bring home like your stroller and swing. She may look a little funny and will probably steal your food when you get a bit older but I think y'all will be best buddies.

Have you been listening to the songs that Memaw, Mason and I have been singing to you? Alot of them are ones that Memaw sang when she was little and I sang when I was little, too. I think you'll really like Bill Grogan's goat and the one about swinging on a star. Your brother's favorite is the moon song. I bet he'll sing it to you the first time he meets you.

Speaking of your brother, he is really excited! He calls you, "baby Nafan" and knew you were a boy even before we did! He's very interested in how your going to get out of my belly....(let's let your daddy explain that one to him.) He'll be able to show you how to be big and teach you all about anything you want to know. His mommy is different from yours, but we hope that you'll be alot alike. Your daddy and I are very proud of him and are glad that you'll have him to look up to.

I think you'll like it a lot out here! We live in a sweet little town that your daddy and I grew up in. We have lots of family around and a lot of room to play. Our little home is ready to have a baby in it. Your daddy built our house before we even got married! We're going to be making it a little bigger once you get here so you and Mason will both have your own rooms. That will be fun for you to watch! Your great-grandparents are moving here soon so you'll get to spend lots of special time with them in their new house. Of course, we'll play at great-grandfather, Perkins', house alot too. In fact, that's probably where you'll learn to ride your bike and to fish. There's so much we can't wait to do with you!

Anything you could possibly need we're ready to give you. We have stored up lots of hugs, kisses, cuddles, laughs, tickles, sways, rocking, bouncing, love... anything you want... we're ready to give to you. We're ready to read you stories. We're ready to make you feel safe. We're ready to let you feel loved. We're ready to kiss your scrapes and bumps. We're ready to teach you new things. We're ready to watch you learn and grow. We're ready for you sweetheart. Just come whenever you can. We're ready to be your Mommy and Daddy! We love you, Nathan!


Just a few notes about this pregnancy

Well, I've had virtually no complications. I haven't been sick really at all. (Other than feeling like someone had slipped me the date rape drug every day for 3 months or like my esophogus is on fire every day for the last 2), I've had it pretty easy. Thank GOD for the snoogle. Without it, I don't know how I would get any sleep. Of course, my husband thinks it's annoying to have a huge overstuffed pillow taking up half the bed, but don't get me started on what it would be like for him to have his hips and back sore every day from carrying around an extra 15 pounds all the time... I'd never hear the end of it.

People always ask about my cravings. For my first trimester all I wanted was pulp. I was sucking down anything with pulp in it and even ate a whole lemon one day when I couldn't find anything else. Lately, it's been BLT sandwiches. I seriously could eat 5 a day. Probably not helping my heartburn much, but they are so yummy and I never really cared for them that much before. Hopefully, next trimester I'll be back into something more healthy...

And the last thing I wanted to blog about was people's comments and opinions. I guess I asked for it when working in an industry where I see hundreds of women a week who all have their own ideas of pregnancy and what it's supposed to look like. I just wish that my salary didn't depend on my kindness to them, because sometimes it would be so nice to really let them have it. Yes, I know I'm huge, I feel huge, but what goes through someone's mind to make them think, "oh, I'll tell her how big she is because that will really make her day." No woman ever wants to hear about how big she is for any reason! I've actually gained less than the average woman at my stage and am right where I'm supposed to be according to my doctor. So, no I'm not carrying twins, I'm not going to topple over, I will be able to reach your head even with my belly in the way to cut your hair, and my ankles are not going to pop. Thanks for being so thoughtful of me, though...

There. I think that's all for now that I wanted to make sure was encrypted somewhere in cyberspace for me to look back on. It's definitely faster than actually writing it all down in a journal like I should. Please feel free to comment (unless it's about how big I am). I'm going to go make myself a blt. :)

Friday, April 11, 2008

pregnancy and dreams

Ever since I've entered my second trimester, I've begun having the strangest dreams! Hormones do crazy things. Mom has been urging me to write them down, and a friend of mine told me about this site, so I thought I'd give it a try....

Well, the first strange dream I had was a few weeks ago. It was just before we were supposed to have our "big" ultrasound to find out what we're having. I dreamed that we were at my mom's house, in her kitchen, and there were lots of people there. Someone told me that they had a portable ultrasound machine in their car and that if I wanted, they could bring it in and we could find out right then what we were having. So, I agreed, she brough it in, started rolling it around my belly and as we are all watching the microwave (as it was the ultrasound monitor -?) we realized that the baby had 3 eyes! All in a line straight across it's face. Funny thing is, I don't remember being upset about it.

Then, a few days later, I dreamed that my mom, christy and I were in the car with my grandmother O'Neil. We were riding along when Meme looked at me and was crying! She said that she had something to tell me and that she didn't want me to be mad at her... I was feeling nervous and she told me that she was pregnant, too!! haha. She said that she didn't want me to be mad at her. I was just astonished. The dream was so detailed that we even discussed in the dream that her child would be my child's great aunt or uncle.

...i told you these were crazy...

Then - just last night - I dreamed that I was pregnant, IN MY LEG! Near my ankle on my right leg. You could see the baby through the skin and it felt squishy. It didn't seem odd or anything, in fact I was at work sitting in my chair when his little arms popped out - which scared me. The next thing I knew he had come out completely. He was 4 years old and Asian!!! He was even already dressed. I don't think I was concerned about the asian part, but I was so excited because it had not hurt at all.

Anyway, there they are, all of my crazy dreams so far. I'll be sue to update them the further along I get.